Welcome. My name is... well, it's complicated. Strange even. First name Beth. Last name Pontorno. It feels weird even on my own tongue. No wonder other people stumble over it.
Maybe if I explain. First name, first. Beth. Not Elizabeth or Elisabeth. Not even Bethany or Bethani or Bethanie. Just Beth. Sometimes people have a hard time wrapping their brains around this fact. For some, it does not compute, which compels me to admit that my middle name is Beth.
“So your name is Beth Beth?” you ask with a smirk tilting your lips. Don’t try to be cute. You’re not cute.
No, my name is not Beth Beth. My first name is Mary, but I go by my middle name because I’m named after my mom. She’s always been Mary, and I’ve always been Beth. How awkward would it be if we both answered to Mary?
My last name is equally peculiar. Hardly anyone can pronounce it correctly the first time...or the second...or ever actually. All those letters. They intimidate.
Pontorno. No, not Portono or Paterno. Not even Ponterno. Nope, not Pontanaro, either. Stop. You’re panicking. Just stop, breathe, and listen for a moment. First, the only vowel is an O. Sigh. Not Porno. Definitely not Porno. Now, you’re just trying to be cute. I’ve already told you you’re not cute.
Let’s take a trip back to the first grade and sound this baby out. First syllable is pon, as in poncho. As in, “I tangled myself in my plastic poncho when I rushed to put it on in the rain.” Second syllable is tor, as in tore. As in, “I tore the hood off my poncho when I tried to unravel myself from it.” Last syllable is no. This one is easy. As in, “No, I don't need your help extricating myself from my poncho. I'm fine. Stop laughing.”
Put it all together, and you get Pon-tor-no. Easy, right?
Any questions? Get in touch with me here.
Maybe if I explain. First name, first. Beth. Not Elizabeth or Elisabeth. Not even Bethany or Bethani or Bethanie. Just Beth. Sometimes people have a hard time wrapping their brains around this fact. For some, it does not compute, which compels me to admit that my middle name is Beth.
“So your name is Beth Beth?” you ask with a smirk tilting your lips. Don’t try to be cute. You’re not cute.
No, my name is not Beth Beth. My first name is Mary, but I go by my middle name because I’m named after my mom. She’s always been Mary, and I’ve always been Beth. How awkward would it be if we both answered to Mary?
My last name is equally peculiar. Hardly anyone can pronounce it correctly the first time...or the second...or ever actually. All those letters. They intimidate.
Pontorno. No, not Portono or Paterno. Not even Ponterno. Nope, not Pontanaro, either. Stop. You’re panicking. Just stop, breathe, and listen for a moment. First, the only vowel is an O. Sigh. Not Porno. Definitely not Porno. Now, you’re just trying to be cute. I’ve already told you you’re not cute.
Let’s take a trip back to the first grade and sound this baby out. First syllable is pon, as in poncho. As in, “I tangled myself in my plastic poncho when I rushed to put it on in the rain.” Second syllable is tor, as in tore. As in, “I tore the hood off my poncho when I tried to unravel myself from it.” Last syllable is no. This one is easy. As in, “No, I don't need your help extricating myself from my poncho. I'm fine. Stop laughing.”
Put it all together, and you get Pon-tor-no. Easy, right?
Any questions? Get in touch with me here.
